Joe Manganiello and Sofía Vergara announced their split in July 2023 and have never agreed on why it happened. Vergara has said it came down to children: he was younger and wanted kids, and she didn’t want to be an older mom. Manganiello says that’s not the full story, and in his new memoir, “Bloodlines,” he points to a long illness and a marriage that grew distant.
The book is due out October 13, 2026, and excerpts have already stirred up the old question. Here’s what each of them has actually said, what’s confirmed, and what nobody outside the marriage can know.
Quick Facts
- Married: 2015
- Split announced: July 2023, with a joint statement asking for privacy
- Divorce filing: Manganiello filed two days after the announcement, citing irreconcilable differences, per Hola!. The listed date of separation is July 2, 2023
- Vergara’s version: the age gap and the question of having children (El País, January 2024)
- Manganiello’s version: a long illness, a distant marriage, and a different account of the children question (memoir excerpts, as reported by Hola! and Hollywoodlife)
- Memoir release: October 13, 2026
What Vergara Said
In an interview with the Spanish paper El País in January 2024, Vergara said: “My marriage broke up because my husband was younger; he wanted to have kids and I didn’t want to be an old mom.” She added that having a baby at her age wouldn’t be fair to the child, and that she’d rather be a grandmother.
That’s her side, in her words. She has a grown son, Manolo, from her first marriage.
What Manganiello Says in “Bloodlines”
Hola! reports on excerpts first published by People. I could not open the People piece, so I’m relying on Hola! and Hollywoodlife for his words.
According to those reports, Manganiello says his health problems began soon after the 2015 wedding. He describes severe abdominal pain, intestinal ulcers, recurring fevers, rashes, and exhaustion. He says he lost about 60 pounds and had emergency surgery in 2016 that removed part of his intestines. Hollywoodlife describes the illness as an autoimmune condition that lasted around seven years.
On the marriage, he describes it as “devoid of any emotionality whatsoever” as his health declined. He says Vergara didn’t hug him when he asked for comfort, and that this left him in a very dark place. Hola! says he writes about suicidal thoughts. I’m only repeating that because it’s in his own account, and I’m not adding anything to it. Hollywoodlife also says he claims Vergara mocked him over his chihuahua, Bubbles, a detail I only found in that one outlet.
He also says he used strong painkillers and marijuana for a time despite years of sobriety.
The Children Question
This is where the two accounts clash. Manganiello says he and Vergara tried IVF without success and talked about egg donors. In his telling, his illness made him give up on having a family. He says he didn’t want to risk dying and leaving Vergara to raise a child who wasn’t biologically hers.
That runs against what Vergara told El País, where he was the one who wanted kids. Both can be partly true, since people’s feelings change over years, but they don’t line up neatly. Manganiello has also said, per Hollywoodlife, that he wrote the book because “there were things said and printed about me that were false.”
Has Vergara Responded to the Memoir?
I couldn’t find a direct response to the book. What she did do, per Hola!, is repost a graphic on her Instagram Stories on Friday, October 9, comparing a “good man” with a “narcissistic man.” The post was first shared by her son Manolo. She didn’t mention Manganiello by name.
Hola! paraphrases the graphic as saying that nothing you do for a narcissist is ever enough, and that such people may paint themselves as victims. It’s a cryptic post, and I’d be careful about reading it as a statement about her ex-husband. Reposting a graphic isn’t an accusation, and she hasn’t said it’s about him.
She has responded to his earlier remarks, though. In an August 2024 interview with Variety, per AOL, she said: “At the end of the day, you never even know if that’s what he said for real.” That was long before the book.
Timeline
- 2015: Married
- 2016: Manganiello’s emergency surgery
- July 2023: Split announced; he files for divorce two days later
- December 2023: Manganiello and Caitlin O’Connor appear together on a red carpet, per Hollywoodlife
- January 2024: Vergara’s El País interview
- August 2024: Vergara tells Variety she doubts what he said
- October 2025: Manganiello proposes to O’Connor, per Hollywoodlife
- October 7, 2026: TMZ reports on his health battle
- October 9, 2026: Vergara’s Instagram Stories repost
- October 13, 2026: “Bloodlines” is released
What Didn’t Sit Right in the Coverage
A few things. The marriage length is inconsistent. Hollywoodlife quotes a “10 years together” figure and also says “nearly a decade,” but the dates it gives, 2015 to 2023, mean about eight years of marriage. Together as a couple, they may have been together a bit longer, but I wouldn’t state a number without a source.
I’d also be wary of headlines that tie Vergara’s Instagram repost directly to the memoir. The timing is close, but nobody has said it’s a reply. And a memoir is one person’s account. The excerpts are what Manganiello chose to tell, and we haven’t heard Vergara’s response to the specifics.
One more point: the Hollywoodlife piece you pointed me to is titled around “the reason for the divorce,” as if there’s one. The two people involved give different reasons, and the truth is likely more than one thing.
Where Things Stand
Vergara is 54, and Manganiello is 49 and engaged to O’Connor, 37, per Hola!. Both have moved on publicly. No settlement details have been reported in the sources I read.
My Take
I find Manganiello’s account hard to read, and I think it deserves to be taken seriously as his experience of a hard stretch. I also think it’s fair to remember that Vergara hasn’t told her side of these specific claims, and that a divorce has two people in it.
The part I’d push back on is the rush to pick a villain. Serious illness strains marriages, and so does disagreement over children. A book release and an Instagram repost aren’t enough to decide who was right.
If you or someone you know is struggling with dark thoughts, please reach out to a crisis line, such as 988 in the US.
Do you think a memoir is a fair place to correct the record on a divorce? Tell me in the comments.